"AUDIENCE ETIQUETTE"
by Bryon Belt, critic at large, Newhouse News Service
THOU SHALT NOT . . .
TALK. The first and greatest commandment. Stay at home if you aren't in the mood to give full attention to what is being performed on stage.
HUM, SING, OR TAP FINGERS OR FEET. The musicians don't need your help, and your neighbors need silence. Learn to tap toes quietly within shoes. It saves a lot of annoyance to others, and is excellent exercise to boot.
RUSTLE THY PROGRAM. Restless readers and page skimmers aren't listeners and greatly distract those around them.
CRACK THY GUM IN THY NEIGHBOR'S EAR. The noise is completely inexcusable and usually unconscious. The sight of otherwise elegant ladies and gentlemen chewing their cud is one of today's most revolting and anti-aesthetic experiences.
OPEN CELLOPHANE-WRAPPED CANDIES OR COUGH DROPS. Next to talking, this is the most serious offense to auditorium peace. If you have a bad throat, unwrap your throatsoothers between acts of musical selections. If caught off-guard, open the sweet quickly. Trying to be quiet by opening wrappers slowly only prolongs the torture for everyone around you.
WEAR BEEPING ELECTRONIC WATCHES OF JANGLE THY JEWELRY. Owners are usually immune, but the added percussion is disturbing to all.
SIGH WITH BOREDOM. If you are in agony--keep it to yourself. Your neighbor just may be in ecstacy--which should also be kept under control.
ARRIVE LATE OR LEAVE EARLY. It is unfair to artists and the public to demand when one is late or to fuss, apply make-up and depart early. Most performances have scheduled times; try to abide by them.
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